It is hard to believe Jake would be 10 years old today. To be completely honest, it takes my breath away. Over the past 5 years I have been living my life with a guarded heart. I have discovered the things that I can handle and have learned to avoid the things that I can't. Finding this balance has been difficult, and as a result I have become an expert at keeping a wall up and finding ways to smile in the saddest of times. One of my biggest fears when Jake passed away (and continues to be a fear to this day) is that I would forget. Forget what it was like to have him in my arms, forget what is was like to care for him and most of all I never wanted to forget the changes he made in my life. I find myself using the word "perspective" frequently. Jake gave that to me and I can't think of anything I am more thankful for. So, on this day I plan to remember my boy and all the love he gave to me in his short 4 1/2 years. I plan to celebrate him and continue to thank God for giving me such a wonderful gift 10 years ago today. I am forever grateful.
Happy Birthday Jakey Bear! You still have a hold on my heart and not a single day goes by that I don't think of you! Mommy loves you!
Shedding a few tears right now, Alison. What a touching post. Thanks for your vulnerability and honesty. Happy Birthday, Jake. Even though we never met your sweet boy, I do feel like we know him through y'all- you have definitely kept his memory alive. Your love, strength and testimony are inspiring and challenging. Thanks for sharing and for keeping the faith and running the "race" as God has called you.
ReplyDeleteJake will always be in my thoughts and in my heart. Happy Birthday little Jake where ever you are.
ReplyDeletePetra